back home where she belongs

Oh you guys, what a rollercoaster, eh? First of all, I want to thank all of you. I was surrounded by the sweetest words all day. Either in person, through facebook or twitter or email, y'all knocked me flat with your support and nice notes. I even got flowers from my favorite ad agency and my favorite florist. Seriously, I'm in awe of the kindness around here.I want to update you all on my girl here, since that seems to be the big question. We had a really long (and hard) talk last night about the physical and, um, actual cost of chemo, and we pretty much decided that today we would bring our girl home and make her as comfortable as we could while she lived out her final days.Not an easy decision. At all.Today, my regular vet (who is the most wonderful and fabulous woman) called to discuss Memphis' case. Did I mention that my vet was home sick today? And she called me from her cell? So I would have her cell in case I had questions over the next few days? I mean, that is SERVICE people. Love my vet.She had some fantastic words and advice, one of the best bits being to make a list of all the things that make Memphis who she is. The constant tail wagging or her absolute love of empty toilet paper rolls, for instance. She said we should keep that close so that if (when) our pup started to deteriorate, we could compare her to the Fully Healthy Memphis and not just the sick girl we are dealing with at the moment. She talked about how easy it is to lose sight of who the dog really is as they get sicker, and it's a good way to monitor how they are feeling and how they are changing. As someone who has had to put a dog down before, I know how hard this is, and I think this kind of list ... won't make it easier, but will make the reality of the situation more clear. Does that make sense? Anyway, the takeaway is my vet is a smart lady with good advice.Next, this afternoon we got to go pick up the girl from the hospital, and ... uh... she was like a new dog. She *trotted* to the car. The tail wagging was OUT OF CONTROL. She ran into the house, grabbed her favorite toy, and continued to circle the main floor showing it off. So, in a nutshell, she behaved as if she were in perfect health. And that makes this decision harder.We believe she feels this good because of the blood transfusion. Getting proper blood with all that iron and such into her organs must feel so much better that we think she's overcompensating a bit. As the evening as worn on, she's started sleeping more and becoming more finnicky. For instance, she spit her pills tonight four times. FOUR. And she was even hiding them under her tongue like a freaking prison inmate and then spitting them out. This girl is SNEAKY.We finally got the pills down, and we'll have to wait this out a few days and see how she holds up. Overall? She's better than she has been all week. But I'm trying not to be fooled into false optimism because of this transfusion.And lastly, I have not forgotten about the courthouse wedding that I want to show you! But I had sooo many questions about Memphis today that I wanted you all to see her and how she looks (pretty dang good minus the bandage from the IV). Tomorrow is the Doomtree Blowout, so you'll get some good old fashioned rap photos (I hope) and then I will get to that wedding this weekend.And you guys? Seriously. Thank you for all of your support. It means so, so much.