This weekend I've been working on a shoot for a local agency involving food. Food! I loooove photographing food -- especially in bright, beautiful kitchens! This has been a really nice distraction from the troubles at home, and I'm hoping to wrap up this work in the next two days or so.And then you know what? And then I'm done with Shuttersmack work for the rest of 2012. This is wonderful because it's the holidays and it's a load off my mind. But don't kid yourselves, I've got a crap ton of stuff going on over at the newspaper, and... uh... I've got a syllabus and lessons to get ready for class. I'm going to give myself two to three days of total relaxation though, and then we'll be back to the normal gig.In the meantime? As many puppy snuggles as I can fit in.

Memphis had a rough morning. Her legs gave out on her a few times and she was sleeping hard. It was incredibly sad. But then some company stopped by and rang the doorbell and man alive you would not know she was sick. This girl jumped up and ran for the door to meet the stranger, tail wagging and everything. But later she crashed hard from that excitement, and it was a rough afternoon. So as the day wore on, we needed something to make this girl happy again.

You know how I have a photo studio at the house? And how I photograph dogs down there? Yeah, I have a secret stash of dog toys that I use to work with client pups. And Memphis here always bolts downstairs after every shoot hoping to find a toy I forgot to put away (she often succeeds). And I usually run and put them out of her reach immediatley, and she is extremely frustrated not to get to play with these toys.

So today we brought out her favorite of those toys, the grunting racoon. As you can see from this photo, she is surrounded by toys. We're doing all we can to keep this girl happy these days.

Ah right... how 'bout that wedding I shot last Wednesday, eh? So sorry for the delay in the post! These two asked me to witness their ceremony in the judge's chambers a while back, and I jumped at the chance. One, because I've never done that before and two, because I thought the photos would be so different. And let's be clear, they didn't even ask me to bring my camera (I just sorta force it on people these days).The ceremony was so sweet and simple and fast. The judge's comments were so, so great that I picked up his card on my way out. If any of you are thinking of using a judge in your upcoming nuptials, please contact me for his information. This is the guy I would want for my own wedding.I will be posting a full set from the ceremony in a bit (gotta go catch that KU game on the TV first and make some dinner etc etc etc). But in the meantime, I loved this frame.Oh! And if you missed my Doomtree shots from yesterday, they are posted over here. Enjoy!

Tonight was the first night of the Doomtree Blowout. It started with our Mayor coming on stage to declare Dec. 14 officially Doomtree Day in the Twin Cities. Yeah, I kinda adore the guy. Anyway, it was a super fun night filled with friends and songs and cheering. And after 3 straight hours of shooting and lugging my gear around the club, I am 100% ready for bed. Also, I have to be up for a haircut in 4.5 hours.I will post more images from the night tomorrow. Be patient... OK, ok, the rest of the photos are up. Maybe when you see these photos you'll understand why I am still completely zonked. But really, so much fun!MEMPHIS UPDATE: Our girl is not as amazing as she was yesterday (health-wise), and she mostly slept today. But that said, she is still her old self, greeting us at the door when we arrive home with 2-3 stuffed animals in her mouth, tail wagging and then circling the main floor. So she's still got a little spunk. Thank God.

Oh you guys, what a rollercoaster, eh? First of all, I want to thank all of you. I was surrounded by the sweetest words all day. Either in person, through facebook or twitter or email, y'all knocked me flat with your support and nice notes. I even got flowers from my favorite ad agency and my favorite florist. Seriously, I'm in awe of the kindness around here.I want to update you all on my girl here, since that seems to be the big question. We had a really long (and hard) talk last night about the physical and, um, actual cost of chemo, and we pretty much decided that today we would bring our girl home and make her as comfortable as we could while she lived out her final days.Not an easy decision. At all.Today, my regular vet (who is the most wonderful and fabulous woman) called to discuss Memphis' case. Did I mention that my vet was home sick today? And she called me from her cell? So I would have her cell in case I had questions over the next few days? I mean, that is SERVICE people. Love my vet.She had some fantastic words and advice, one of the best bits being to make a list of all the things that make Memphis who she is. The constant tail wagging or her absolute love of empty toilet paper rolls, for instance. She said we should keep that close so that if (when) our pup started to deteriorate, we could compare her to the Fully Healthy Memphis and not just the sick girl we are dealing with at the moment. She talked about how easy it is to lose sight of who the dog really is as they get sicker, and it's a good way to monitor how they are feeling and how they are changing. As someone who has had to put a dog down before, I know how hard this is, and I think this kind of list ... won't make it easier, but will make the reality of the situation more clear. Does that make sense? Anyway, the takeaway is my vet is a smart lady with good advice.Next, this afternoon we got to go pick up the girl from the hospital, and ... uh... she was like a new dog. She *trotted* to the car. The tail wagging was OUT OF CONTROL. She ran into the house, grabbed her favorite toy, and continued to circle the main floor showing it off. So, in a nutshell, she behaved as if she were in perfect health. And that makes this decision harder.We believe she feels this good because of the blood transfusion. Getting proper blood with all that iron and such into her organs must feel so much better that we think she's overcompensating a bit. As the evening as worn on, she's started sleeping more and becoming more finnicky. For instance, she spit her pills tonight four times. FOUR. And she was even hiding them under her tongue like a freaking prison inmate and then spitting them out. This girl is SNEAKY.We finally got the pills down, and we'll have to wait this out a few days and see how she holds up. Overall? She's better than she has been all week. But I'm trying not to be fooled into false optimism because of this transfusion.And lastly, I have not forgotten about the courthouse wedding that I want to show you! But I had sooo many questions about Memphis today that I wanted you all to see her and how she looks (pretty dang good minus the bandage from the IV). Tomorrow is the Doomtree Blowout, so you'll get some good old fashioned rap photos (I hope) and then I will get to that wedding this weekend.And you guys? Seriously. Thank you for all of your support. It means so, so much.

So... In general, I try to be upbeat around these parts. I know we all have a lot of stuff going on in our lives and a lot of baggage and such, and I (personally) like to escape on the internet and wander around finding things to smile or laugh about. And that's a little about what guides me on this here blog (hence all the fun rock'n'roll and puppy photos).But things over here at Shuttersmack HQ have hit a pretty dark low, and I'm not sure I can be your funny, happy blogger today. Sorry about that.I've had a rough week, to say the least. It started this weekend when my father was rushed to the hospital after strangers stopped on the side of the road to help him as he was extremely ill and had pulled over and then passed out. It turns out, he's all right and it was some sort of viral infection (everyone breathe a huge sigh of relief with me). But he was discharged and then my mom started to show symptoms. Worrying that much about your parents when you're this far away and cannot possibly help is zero fun. To say the weekend was stressful is an understatement. I should also tell you that my mother is feeling much better now, which is also a huge relief.Dad made it back home Sunday afternoon, and it was the next day that Memphis started acting a little off. Monday morning she didn't want to eat, and then she wouldn't come downstairs and then she wouldn't walk and then when I put her outside to go to the bathroom she just laid down in the icy snow. Not good.So we made a doctor's appointment and took her in today. Of course, since making the appointment she became more interested in food and started wagging her tail again. Is that not how it always goes? Because of this, we figured the vet would run some bloodwork and we'd hear back by the end of the week and probably have a prescription for antibiotics or something.We were wrong.Jamie took her to the appointment today, and they were extremely concerned and asked that he take her to the emergency vet right away for an ultrasound as they were worried she was bleeding internally. And bleeding a lot.So I left work and met Jamie at the emergency vet, where we waited and waited for test results. I am going to tell you everything I know because I know you will have questions, and please know *I* have questions, too. But there's only so much vets can learn as a) their patients cannot speak and b) well, medical science is still a bit of a mystery.We know that Memphis has three tumors -- two on her spleen and one on her liver. At first they thought these tumors were full of veins and were bleeding and were the cause of the blood loss. They were pretty sure these tumors were cancerous and I'm sorry I forget the very long, complex name of this cancer they kept referring to. They suggested we do surgery to remove her spleen and stop the bleeding. They said if we didn't do surgery, our girl would die in a matter of days. It was a very hard call as her health is so fragile these days that we weren't sure a major surgery was going to do any good for her quality of life.But then another lab pathologist stepped in and wanted more tests. Something looked off in the blood.Turns out she has tons and tons of cells in her blood that signal Lymphoma. Lymphoma is a different form of cancer that doesn't cause tumors and rarely involves bleeding. But that's what her bloodwork tells us she has. They cannot confirm her lymphoma, even though they took samples from the tumors, and they can send these samples and her blood to somewhere in... Colorado maybe?... and they might be able to confirm the diagnosis. But they might not.They kept referring to what a "special" and "unusual" case Memphis was. Yes, we know. We've been dealing with this specialty for awhile now.Oh! And Mem had stopped bleeding internally by this point. They think that part is over with, but she's extremely anemic due to so much blood loss and she needed a transfusion. And a chest x-ray to make sure the cancer hadn't spread to her lungs. (Do you hear the cash register sound at each mention of a new test? Is that insensitve? I'm sorry.) So they wanted us to leave her in intensive care overnight for monitoring and for the blood transfusion. Oh, but before we left, we needed to go over a Do Not Resucitate form to tell the doctors if we want them to bring her back should she flatline this evening.Insert massive tears and nose-blowing here. I mean, let's be frank, the tears were already flowing. But a DNR for my pup? Man.We decided to sign the form saying do not resucitate. It was a very hard decision, but let's be real: Memphis has 1) Inflamatory Bowel Disease (hence the frequent vomiting) 2) Kidney disease (hence the homemade meals) and now 3) some form of cancer. The odds are not good here.In the end, we left her there for monitoring and for the blood transfusion and xrays. After speaking with her Oncologist, we opted for the first chemo treatment for lymphoma. It will last about 10 days, and by then we might have clearer heads to make a better decision on her care. To be honest, I don't know how I can look at that face up there and decide to just let her die, but I also need to remember to do what's best for her and not what I want (which is for her to live forever). I also think talking all of this over with her normal vet who has known her since puppyhood will help me with some clarity.Hopefully we can pick her up tomorrow. The photo above is of Jamie saying goodbye to her and telling her to be a good girl and we'd see her in the morning. It was very sad.On a completely different note, I shot a wedding ceremony today at city hall. It was simple and lovely, and I was going to blog about it today, but my  head isn't in the right place. I promise to show you later this week. For now all I can think about is my Golden.